A Treatise on Sex, or, How to Avoid Working on a Paper

Sex is something that generally all of us hear about, think about, or talk about on a daily basis. As one goes about daily business, one is barraged by sexualized images and sexualized language. Society tells us to have sex. Society tells us men to have sex with as many women as possible in the shortest period of time.

However, to me, sex is something to be shared with someone for whom one cares deeply. I don't know how people seem to think that there is such thing as sex for sex's sake. Clearly, the motivations are more complex than just getting off or comingling physically with a random other body. Sex creates emotions that generally shouldn't be placed on a stranger.

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned that way, but the fact is that on a pretty much daily basis I'm reminded of the social fact that I'm expected to at least want to screw every female that moves, or at least every female that is socially acceptable to boink. I don't agree. Yes, my biological impulses, so they say, tell me to reproduce with as many females as possible. But does that mean I need to bump uglies with women I barely know?

Anyway, if you're wondering why the hell I'm spewing this polemic about sex, part of the explanation lies with the fact that I'm avoiding research for an upcoming term paper. The other part is, K and I had a talk today about boundaries.

As I've said before, K and I are dating again. But, the rules of engagement have been a little unclear thus far. Neither of us was sure if it was an exclusive sort of thing, or if we really were just going out on a few dates. We would be lying to ourselves if we denied that the three plus years of history we have has any influence on our present situation. And yes, we're both well aware of the fact that we want to get more serious in the future.

Anyway, the point is, we came to the conclusion that the relationship isn't entirely exclusive. Sex with another person is pretty out of the question. But if either of us should happen upon an opportunity to mess around with someone, on, say the level of "second base" (I hate using a term so juvenile, but it fits the best), then we'd be free to take the opportunity.

I know that, with my friends, I have always been less than candid about my romantic life. Anything I do say is generally in this diary. Fact is, I really don't imagine my friends really wanting all the sordid details. I know I don't care to hear stuff about other people, past the "who's diddling who" gossip or just whether or not two people are going out. Everything else is between the two (or three or whatever) people.

But anyway. Back to the polemic! Huzzah!

I'm old-fashioned. Sex is best left for when you truly love someone. If you go around fizzizzling a bunch of people, couldn't that detract from the uniqueness of the act?

I'm also shocked to see the level of socially-enforced "standards" in effect in the general male populace at New College. The guys generally are only attracted to women of certain body types, ie. thin girls. I've overheard girls who are not even overweight at all called "fat", and generally women who wear makeup are considered more attractive than those women who don't.

Oi. As Krire-Shin reminds us, real women have curves. Big girls can be just as sexy as skinny or "normal" girls. Really, it's all in the way a girl carries herself, not in her physical makeup. Confidence makes an attractive woman. Makeup, clothes, physical features, etc. can all complement the attitude that comes across, sure. But the basic "sexiness" of a woman comes across in her body language.

Maybe that's just my thinking.

Anyway, I've gotta get back to work.

~Halcyondream~

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