From The Onion:

VOLUME 35 ISSUE 27 � 4 AUGUST 1999

Ritalin Cures Next Picasso

WORCESTER, MA�Area 7-year-old Douglas Castellano's unbridled energy and creativity are no longer a problem thanks to Ritalin, doctors for the child announced Friday. "After years of failed attempts to stop Douglas' uncontrollable bouts of self-expression, we have finally found success with Ritalin," Dr. Irwin Schraeger said. "For the first time in his life, Douglas can actually sit down and not think about lots of things at once." Castellano's parents reported that the cured child no longer tries to draw on everything in sight, calming down enough to show an interest in television.

Music of the Moment: "Hymn of the Big Wheel" by Massive Attack

So K and I are "dating". Both of us agree that it shouldn't be anything serious anytime soon, as we'd risk getting back into old habits. For now we're just going on dates occasionally, and that's fine by me. I really don't want to get back into a relationship at this point, and I'm enjoying having so much time to myself.

Besides, I still need to work on myself a little.

So that's my life: Hang out with friends, work on thesis, go on occasional dates.

Simple. I like it.

I threw a Ninja! Drunk Funk Tuesday in Palm Court. Not many people outside of the Inner Circle showed up, but we didn't announce it until that afternoon and there wasn't any free booze.

I think I may throw random parties with random themes all next semester.

~Halcyondream~

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