I know I make references in my diary to being lonely, but that may be because I'm usually preparing to try to sleep when I update.

Truth is, I may be 'lonely' in a metaphysical sense, but I'm not alone. This diary perhaps isn't truly representative of how I feel overall because it's a vent. The diary catches me at my more emo moments.

But the end of the day is neither happy nor sad for me. I've turned going to sleep into a ritual.

I'm not looking for anything. I don't feel lost. Just stuck.

Though I wouldn't mind some company as I fall asleep, I can't bring myself to pursue anything with anyone.

I wish love and relationships weren't so complex and full of preconceptions. I think back to when I was four, and had a "girlfriend" across the street. Well, really I had two. Fraternal twins. But one I really liked.

We were going to get married and live in Europe. I was going to be a paleontologist, and she was going to be a veterinarian.

Her German mother made the most wonderful potato pancakes.

If only love could be so pure again.

~Halcyondream~

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