Current listening: "Billy Jean" by Michael Jackson
I'm working on a ridiculous assignment for my introductory economics class. Unfortunately, as a thesising history student with three years of experience here behind me, I'm finding it impossible to do something so small and basic. I've got two-thirds of it completed, and I have more than double the page requirement already.
But, whatever. I'm totally kicking this assignment's ass. In the parlance of the evening's earlier discussions, this assignment is totally owned.
I'm noticing that I am growing more and more sane, now that I am not constantly pining for someone in the distance all the time.
I am certainly not the misanthropic closet homicidal maniac I used to be. Nor do I feel as egocentric and impervious to others' actions.
Underneath that somewhat goofy, somewhat insane person there has always been a human. Perhaps I was merely avoiding myself, "in denial" as my mother is fond of telling me I often am. Putting up a 'tough front', if you will. Tough, I guess in this circumstance, meaning 'crazy'.
Maybe I was angry at the world for my circumstances (being apart from the principle object of my affection), maybe I was just at heart very sad and I needed to disguise that. Who knows?
The important part is that I'm not really that person.
Sure, I'm completely capable of getting into a funk--albeit not a mass murdering funk. I'm not manically happy, either. Just content to be alive and edging closer and closer to becoming self-realized.
~Halcyondream~
life is good