I'm not quite home yet, I'm at K's. I finished all of my work and moved all of my stuff in record time. I passed all of my classes with flying colors, which actually surprised me. I was sure some of my work was mediocre due to the fact that my effort was somewhat lagging for the last mod. But, everyone loved my work.

I thrive on stress and anxiety. I create dilemmas and time crunches for myself, not just because I 'procrastinate' but because I need it. Anxiety is like a bad drug trip. It's hellish while you're on it but you miss it when you come down.

Even when I got here, I had to make little problems for myself to worry about. I had to get a new copy of my car registration that I had misplaced, and I worried about it for three days before finally going down to the tag agency and getting a copy which took about twenty minutes.

Now, instead of worrying about research papers and exams and reading assignments I worry about money and my future and small tasks.

I schedule my life around these little tasks, planning my week out in advance by assigning each task to a certain amount of time on a certain day, as though I know in advance how long everything is going to take.

Maybe if I can cut my caffeine habit, I'll calm down a little.

Caffeine is a nasty drug. It really should be illegal, because it's more addictive than it seems and it's more harmful than anyone really expects.

Maybe I can go completely clean this summer, and not ingest anything but pure water and whole foods. See what that feels like.

I could become, how do they say, wholesome.

Like some weirdo Mormon.

~Halcyondream~

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